Let’s Begin With Identity

This post is adapted from a conversation on the Full Embrace podcast with Michelle Dahneke.

If there’s one thing that has the power to change everything in your life, it might be this:

Knowing your true identity.

Not the roles you play.

Not the labels you’ve picked up.

Not the things you’ve been told or have come to believe over time.

But your true identity—rooted in love.

The Identities We Carry

Most of us don’t realize how many identities we’ve taken on.

Some were given to us.

Some we created to cope.

Some formed quietly over time through experiences, pain, or perception.

And often, they don’t sound empowering.

They sound like:

• “I’m selfish.”

• “I’m careless.”

• “I’m lazy.”

• “I’m not enough.”

These identities aren’t always loud or obvious. Sometimes they sit in the background, shaping how we show up without us even realizing it.

The Process of Letting Go

Discovering your true identity isn’t a one-time realization—it’s a process.

An unfolding.

For many, it begins with recognizing the false identities we’ve been carrying.

And that part can be uncomfortable.

It might look like:

• Noticing painful beliefs about yourself

• Allowing those feelings to surface

• Sitting with grief, fear, or resistance

But something important happens here.

When those false identities are seen and felt, they begin to lose their hold.

They create space.

Making Space for What’s True

That space can feel unfamiliar at first—sometimes even empty.

But it’s also where something new can emerge.

Something more true.

More grounded.

More loving.

More aligned with who you actually are.

And when that identity begins to take shape, it changes how you live.

What Changes When You Know Who You Are

When you begin to know your true identity:

• You show up more authentically

• Your relationships shift

• You feel less driven by fear, insecurity, or scarcity

• You experience more clarity and internal strength

You’re no longer performing or coping in the same way.

You’re responding from something deeper.

Identity and Coaching

This is why identity work is so powerful.

While thoughts and emotions matter, identity sits underneath both.

It shapes how you interpret your thoughts.

It influences how you experience your emotions.

It impacts how you act in the world.

And for many, this work is deeply connected to something beyond themselves.

Whether you call it God, a higher power, the universe, or simply truth—there’s often a sense that this identity is something we receive or remember, not just create.

Accessing Your Inner Knowing

There’s also something within you.

A voice.

A knowing.

A part of you that feels true, even if it’s unfamiliar.

For some, this comes naturally.

For others, it’s something that can be developed over time.

But it’s there.

And learning to listen to it can be life-changing.

Where to Begin

If this is new to you, you don’t need to have all the answers.

You can simply begin with questions:

• Who do I believe I am?

• What words come up when I describe myself?

• Do those feel true—or painful?

• What might I be ready to let go of?

And then:

• What feels more true, even if it’s quiet or new?

This is not about forcing a new identity.

It’s about uncovering what’s already there.

You don’t have to figure this out all at once.

But if there’s a place to begin, it’s here.

With identity.

Reflection:

What identities have I been carrying that no longer feel true?

Optional Prayer:

God, what do you want me to know about who I am?

Is there anything else?